Phew- that is over. That crazy time of the year where my job has me working long hours. Things are calming down and it is time to get back to blogging.
I have not had the time to study like I should. Okay- the title is the whole truth and nothing but so that is what I going to give you. I have started a few post over the past few weeks. They start out okay and disintegrate quickly. In the craziness of my schedule, I made a choice and one of those was to skip my bible study and sacrifice my quiet time. And how can you listen to God, when you are not in a place to hear him. It's simple you cannot. So in this episode of the Sass Mouth Christian, I am spilling my guts.
I am starting with the easy one- I have skipped my quiet time and my bible study the past few weeks. I am back on the straight and narrow but I have to say not having that time caused a disconnect. I found myself allowing things that I am normally able to let go bother me. I was not the nicest of people. I want to confess that first.
I am not perfect. No one I know is perfect. There has only been one person on this Earth who was perfect and try as I might to be like Him, I fail miserably.
People drive me crazy. They do things that I think are stupid or annoying. I know that sounds terrible especially since I am far from perfect myself and people have to "deal" with my stupid and annoying on a regular basis. But staying connected to God and his word allows me to see the person and not just the thing they are doing that are driving me CRAZY! He opens that window of making you think about the person, who they are and why they may be doing what they are doing. That helps you better understand where they are coming from and that helps keep you out of jail for physical bodily harm. I'm just kidding, maybe.
It takes work for me to be a nice person. I try to be a nice, kind, understanding and diplomatic person. I try and sometimes I am successful. The vast majority of the time I am not. It is very difficult to be a nice person. Sometimes I want to just tell it like it is and the rest be darned. I do not want to have to stop and think about what I am saying because it may be misinterpreted. I do not want to pick up trash in a parking lot. Why should I? I did not leave it there. I do not want to pretend to be a big girl when all I want to do is pout.
Marriage is hard! There are days I love him so much it frightens me because I know we are not promised tomorrow. There are days he makes me laugh. He makes me feel safe and secure. But then there are the days that I really could ring his neck. He can make me the maddest, the craziest and sometimes the not so nicest I have even been. (And, I know I do the same to him.)
I cuss sometimes like a sailor. It is a horrible habit. I have to be so conscience of what I am saying around people other than my family because I am I scared I will slip up and say something that will make my mama wash my mouth out with soap.
Here a few other things I do- I speed, a lot. I hate cleaning. I have a beautiful home that God has given me and I have dust bunnies the size of my Yorkie under the bed. I hate to exercise even though I know it is good for the body I am suppose to treat like a temple. I pout, sulk and any other word you would like to insert when things do not go exactly as I want them to. I say things are unfair as I sit in my nice home with my great job and wonderful husband, family, friends and complain about all the blessings I have.
I have had times in my life when I have been angry and it was recently, like yesterday recently. And I have been angry at God. That wasn't yesterday but it has happened. I am so tempted to erase that statement. I am scared that if I type it and you read it, you will think differently of me. How can a Christian say she has been angry at God? How am I to read her blog now and think she has something good to say about being a Christian? It is simple, I am a human being with a sin nature.
Everything listed above is me. Now let me show you what is not me and what is all God...
15 years ago in November, I married a good man. An excellent man with a good heart, a head screwed on straight and the patience of Job. I have matured and become a better person thanks to the man that I married. He encourages me to use the gifts God has given me and always has the right Godly answer when I need it. He has earned every bit of the respect that I freely gave him from the beginning and then some. He is a good son, husband, friend and person. He is a gift from God and I am grateful. All of the blessings that have come into my life from my marriage is from God having his hand on it. Every time we have had issues because no one couple or a marriage is perfect is due to us not taking the time to listen to God and his plans for us. God makes my marriage a good marriage.
People think I am kind or to quote my Aunt, that I am "a good girl". That is Southern for you were raised right. No, I am not always a good girl, well I was raised right, but doing what is right is still a choice. When I do something that makes people think I am a "good girl" it is because I just wrestled with not wanting to do it but decided to submit to God's will. Truth be told most days my prayer goes a little something like this "Heavenly Father, it better be more you than me today because if you let me take over there's going to be a whole lot of hurt feelings in my wake and a hot mess to clean up." Does this mean that all of a sudden people stop driving you crazy? Absolutely not, but God will change your way of thinking about it. Why do they do this or why do they do that? He gives you insight that helps with dealing with the annoyingness. And remember... He is giving someone the insight to deal with your annoyingness.
"God, how could you do this to me?" Have you ever said these words? I have. It was when I was angry. I had just lost my Deddy to a very difficult battle with cancer, my mother had fallen and broken her leg after her battle with cancer and taking care of my dad and my father-in-law was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. All of this happened within 7 months. I was sad, hurt, grieving, miserable, tired and angry. I was angry at cancer, at the world and angry at God. How could he take my Deddy? How could he let this happen to Mama? How could he let this happen to Brucie? Hadn't we had enough? Exactly how much more did he plan on throwing at us before enough was enough? I cried. I cussed. I threw things. I got it all out of my system. After acting like a 2 year old, I realized something, God had given me everything I needed to survive the things that were happening all around me. I have a wonderful husband who let me be a crazy bat while sorting through my feelings. A family that sticks together through all of the scary things happening around us. I have a home that is a haven of security and love that I am blessed to be able to go home to every night. I have friends that offered whatever support was needed. A job that allows me to work on Saturday or late in the evenings in case I need to take time off to take care of things. And most importantly I have the promise of God that He is in control and if I trust Him I will get through it and that something good would come of it. These were only things that I could be reminded of when spending time with God and in His word.
So enough 'fessing. I guess I need to get to the heart of the matter. All of the good in my life comes from when I shut up long enough to hear God and then be smart enough to do what He wants me to do. The messes come from when I don't. And you cannot expect to hear him clearly when you are not spending time with him. So make the time people! It is the most important thing you can do.
Romans 8:5
Don’t live under the control of your sinful nature. If you do, you will think about what your sinful nature wants. Live under the control of the Holy Spirit. If you do, you will think about what the Spirit wants.
2 Timothy 3:16
God has breathed life into all of Scripture. It is useful for teaching us what is true. It is useful for correcting our mistakes. It is useful for making our lives whole again. It is useful for training us to do what is right.
Thessalonians 5:16-18
Always be joyful. 17 Never stop praying. 18 Give thanks no matter what happens. God wants you to thank him because you believe in Christ Jesus.
love- j
