Call Me Spiller, Drink Spiller

I know I've mentioned this before, I have moments where being graceful simply doesn't work for me. I have been known to have moments of clutziness. It is who I am and how God made me. I am good with it unless the outcome requires doctor's visits. Luckily, He gave me and everyone else that knows and loves me a pretty healthy sense of humor. 99% of the time we wind up laughing it off and sharing a pretty funny story after the cast comes off. (I have only broken one bone in my life which is proof that God performs miracles everyday!)  I was destined to be that way because it started at a very early age. I became known as a drink killer before the age of 2. The one person when spotting a drink at fifty paces could knock that sucker over in 10 seconds flat. There are times when a glass would go flying and it had to be I knocked it over with the power of my mind.

 

Every single time I would sit down to the supper table, I would knock over any drink sitting before me. And I mean every single time. My mother would move the glass and I would somehow find a way to stretch my arms 10 feet long and over it would go. Oh, I had a sippy cup with a secure lid. My sweet tea was safe, it was all the others that were in danger. I actually think there were under the table bets on how long a person's drink would last.

 

Pre-drink killer

But the glint in the eye tells of things to come!

 

 

You can imagine the scene whenever we went to dinner with someone. Mama would whip out the high chair and everybody else would high tail it to the opposite end of the table. Here I was sitting at one end of the table with everyone else smushed all together at the other end covered in plastic. I'm sure people walking by thought "Awww look at the little princess with her admirers". Little did they know that others were sitting at the end at a table for fear of ruining an outfit or looking like they had not made it to the loo in time. Everyone was hoping when the inevitable happened, the table would be long enough that the water/tea wouldn't quite reach them. Some survived, others not so lucky. I apologize now to those who walked to the restrooms explaining that no it really was tea and after a few cycles under the hand dryer everything would be like new.

 

I share this story because it immediately popped into my mind after my bible study this morning. You see, my bible study was "Fix Your Thoughts on Jesus". It is a part on amazing 1 year devotional by Rick Warren. This devotional was aimed at defeating temptation. It discusses media intake and making sure that we equip ourselves biblically and through discipline to avoid temptation. This really hit home because unfortunately, I have not only given into temptation recently, I have languished in it. When I say temptation I do not mean having a cupcake (which I did), not going to the gym (my membership card is dusty) or not being selective with what I have been watching the wrong stuff on TV (I am unplugging it!), I am talking about a temptation that has led me to not being very Christian-like and influencing others to do the same. And it appears I need to work on the other temptations as well. Ouch toes!

 

Someone recently hurt me which made me sad. And as it is in this broken world, the more hurt and sad I became, the angrier I became. Anger is not pretty, it makes you say things that are not nice. And while there may be a small element of truth to what you are saying, the opportunity to reconcile the truth gets lost in the way it is being delivered. It causes irreparable damage. I am lucky, or so I thought, that I have not said anything to this person so I can approach them when the time is right and maybe mend the hurt.

 

Here is where the spilled drink come in... When we are angry and do not guard our thoughts and focus on Jesus, they become like the spilled tea. They run everywhere and unfortunately in this case, it was right in my husband's lap. Because I gave in to the temptation of saying things without focusing on Jesus and did not fill my mind with things that are true, noble and right, I said things to him that have changed the way he feels about this person. I did that. I am not saying that I should not have discussed my feelings or that you should not when you are hurt. There are times you absolutely need to "vent" especially with someone who can help you re-focus on Jesus and the process of giving it to Him to help you through it. But you have to stop and focus on the things that are Godly, true, noble and right. Instead I added fuel to the fire under the guise of being justified in how I felt. I caused someone else to be hurt and angry. Way to go there, Skipper!

 

We have to be careful as Christians about how we face our temptations in whatever form they come. It is not just about us. Other people watch what we are doing and how we handle things and some of those people are looking up to us as examples. Seriously, you do not know how heavily that weighs on me. I am so far removed from perfect it is frightening. I feel like screaming- "Hey watch me and then do the absolute opposite and you will be just fine." I fail, falter and fall flat on my face on a pretty regular basis. I still feel like the weeble-wobbler toddler that knocked over drinks. But that is me in my confidence.

I love 1 Corinthians 10:13 it says:
13. No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

Did I mention I love what it says? Knowing to lean on God in those moments and using scripture, just as Jesus did in the desert when tempted by Satan, as your weapon. There is your Godly confidence. That stuff that keeps you out of hot water.

Did I also mention that I sometimes forget what it says?

I had a way out. Oh-so-smart-and-wonderful Hubby said "Stop thinking and talking about it. You are allowing it to eat at you and that is not healthy." I should have listened. Oh hello- my friend Shoulda Woulda Coulda.

But hubby was close to the Godly answer and it was simple. The quickest way to kill temptation is to turn your thoughts somewhere else- scripture. The verse states that God will provide you a way out so that you can endure it. BUT you have to be willing to follow the way out!!! Sometimes it is so fun to "waller" in the mud and get others dirty right along with you.

But sweetheart, God can't save you when you are drowning if you keep swatting his hand away.

I leave you with Mark 14:38 words from Jesus and the prayer that God will repair what I broke and keep us all from paying attention to what is worthless and harmful.

Mark 14:38
38. Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

love-j

PS- I just spilled coffee from my spill-proof mug. :)
 

 

I Can't Get No Satisfaction

I have naturally curly hair. Very curly hair. Very frizzy curly hair. I have colored, stretched, straightened, twisted and cursed my hair into various forms of "cuteness". And I use the word cuteness in the loosest terms possible, it was more like I looked like the Bride of Frankenstein a little less than normal.

I am 5'2" and that is standing as straight as my Grandmother would like for me to stand all of the time. I will shove my feet into sassy 4" heels and hobble my way to work and social gatherings in a New York minute. I find myself praying that if I can just get to work and put my feet in my amazingly comfortable little slippers that I keep under my desk, I will never be that mean to my feet again, EVER. At least not until tomorrow. When we are out and I am wearing those shoes, I am not too sure I would not race a little old lady to the last chair available if I thought it meant I would not have to stand all night in shoes designed by a man with a nagging wife or a minion of Satan.

I wear colored mascara that brings out the green of my eyes, the brown of my eyes or the hazel of them. I have tried every make-up product known to man. I have looked "re-freshed", natural, sassy, smoky and "no daughter of mine is walking out of the house with that much make-up on, you look like Tammy Faye." Now, I do not care how much "help" you think you need, no one wants their make-up compared to Tammy Faye.

I have sucked it in, sucked it up and worn the most uncomfortable support garments known to womankind to look good in that new dress because I had nothing to wear to insert whatever here _________. Support garments have come a long way since the 1920's back, but they are horribly uncomfortable now. No wonder men thought women were weak during the 1700's and 1800's. They were stuffed into petticoats and corsets tied tighter than Dick's hatband. They were uncomfortable, could not breathe and probably irritated 99% of the time because they were hungry. I mean why, pray tell, would you eat anything to add to the discomfort. They were faint from lack of breath and nourishment.

And back to the insert here... My poor husband has no sisters. He is the youngest of two boys. There is a lot of stubborn "boy" in that household between my father-in-law, brother-in-law and husband! And his Mama is a lovely, well put together woman but not necessarily a girlie-girl. Then he married me... A girlie-girl who has moments like Lucy and think Ms. Congeniality after the make-over and tripping her way to the plane. Oh the stories he could tell, like Christmas 5 years ago. We were getting ready for his work Christmas party and I was on outfit number 735. Nothing was working and it was getting close to time to go. He walks to the closet and pulls out a lovely skirt. Here is where we should offer key advice to any wonderful husband trying to help. Before pulling out ANY lovely, adorable skirt after 735 mis-fires, please oh please, make sure it is not one that no longer fits. Because you may or may not find yourself watching the following scene.

I literally had to lay on the bed to zip said skirt and it barely zipped. When I went to stand up, I could not. I was scared to stand because I was terrified it would split. This led to a 5 minute hysterical fit that I was fat, nothing fits and I have nothing to wear. I will not be cute and how could he want me to go with him when I looked hideous in everything I had tried on. My mascara had run down my face into my hair because I was lying on my back on the bed. My eyes are bloodshot and I was pretty snotty thanks to all of the crying. Now I am pretty sure up to that point, I did not look all that bad and would have been a touch sassy had I not had a crying fit that literally made me look like a goth with pearls.

Sassy began at an early age.

Maybe not...

I have mentioned in several posts how sweet and wonderful my husband is and I am sure you are waiting for the sweet, thoughtful words my husband said to me at that moment. Here they are... "Jody Lynn- I would not have married you if I thought you were unattractive. Now roll off the bed, put on the first dress you tried on and fix your mascara. We are going to be late." I sniffle my way up and thankfully the skirt did not rip. I put on the first dress, fix my face and off we go to have a fun night. Poor, poor hubby.

What is it about human nature that is never satisfied? I mean NEVER satisfied! Stop and think about it.

Here is a compilation of my greatest hits: (Again, this stuff is so difficult to type. It makes me sound so ungrateful and childish BUT these are things I have said.)

I am tired and really do not want to work in the yard today. Did we have to buy a house with a big yard?
OR
I am so busy and this house is a sight. I don't feel like cleaning it. Why can't we have someone come and clean it?
Oh, you mean the house you prayed about for months, that God had his hand on and everything worked out perfectly for you to live there? You are too tired or cannot find the time to take care of that blessing?

I cannot believe the hubby left the closet doors open again or put the sugar in the wrong spot or did or didn't do this.
That's right the man who pretty much puts up with your junk and loves you unconditionally? Why don't we  focus on the 5 things you don't like versus the 500,000 things he does that are absolutely amazing.

My job is stressful and takes a lot out of me. Haven't I worked hard enough to have it easier at this point?
Hard work and God's direction has put you in a job that has the terrific people and remarkable benefits and hard work is required to keep you there. Think of what you have not what you don't because I am sure there are tons of people who would be happy to fill that spot for you.

I don't want to go to church this Sunday. It is my only day to get some rest and by the time it is done over half the day is gone.
Yeah church- one of the few places you go where you walk-out uplifted and equipped to handle what the world is going to throw at you. Now why on Earth would you ever want to go there?

Not a pretty picture and that is on a good day...

I want to be like Paul. He knew that only in and through Christ are joy, contentment and satisfaction possible. Philippians is my go to book when I need encouragement about life or a good smack upside the head when I am being a brat. And he is writing this while in jail. JAIL- people! So a soft cushy chair, with coffee, classical music and a cute puppy curled up in your lap was not the circumstances in which this book was written unlike this blog. Listen to what he is saying and how many times he says glad (feeling joy or pleasure-delighted, pleased; characterized by or showing cheerfulness).

Philippians 4:4-9

4 Be glad in the Lord always! Again I say, be glad! 5 Let your gentleness show in your treatment of all people. The Lord is near. 6 Don’t be anxious about anything; rather, bring up all of your requests to God in your prayers and petitions, along with giving thanks. 7 Then the peace of God that exceeds all understanding will keep your hearts and minds safe in Christ Jesus.

8 From now on, brothers and sisters, if anything is excellent and if anything is admirable, focus your thoughts on these things: all that is true, all that is holy, all that is just, all that is pure, all that is lovely, and all that is worthy of praise. 9 Practice these things: whatever you learned, received, heard, or saw in us. The God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4:11-13

11 I’m not saying this because I need anything, for I have learned how to be content in any circumstance. 12 I know the experience of being in need and of having more than enough; I have learned the secret to being content in any and every circumstance, whether full or hungry or whether having plenty or being poor. 13 I can endure all these things through the power of the one who gives me strength.

Now I am saving the toe cruncher, I mean, best for last...

Philippians 2:13-18

13 God is the one who enables you both to want and to actually live out his good purposes. 14 Do everything without grumbling and arguing 15 so that you may be blameless and pure, innocent children of God surrounded by people who are crooked and corrupt. Among these people you shine like stars in the world 16 because you hold on to the word of life. This will allow me to say on the day of Christ that I haven’t run for nothing or worked for nothing. 17 But even if I am poured out like a drink offering upon the altar of service for your faith, I am glad. I’m glad with all of you. 18 You should be glad about this in the same way. Be glad with me!

Go ahead and try and give me an argument/excuse for not doing the above. Did I mention Paul was in jail?!?! Kinda, sorta puts things in perspective doesn't it?

On that note, the next time my hubby drinks out of the milk carton, I will be glad he is comfortable in the home we have built together. The next time work starts getting crazy, I will be glad that I have a good job with people I respect and respect me. The next time I am working in the yard, I will be glad that I have a yard and enjoy all of the beauty of God it contains.

And the next time I have nothing to wear.... I will be glad.... Ummm.... Well.... Okay the scene may play out exactly the same. Baby steps, baby steps.

love- j