Pfffft

John 10:10
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

I really want to be a once a week blogger but I never want my posts to be fake. I never want to post something for the sake of posting. I can always tell when I am writing what God wants me to say because the words come easily. The past few weeks they have not come easy so there have been no posts. You see, I have been going through a growth spurt. Not the physical kind but the spiritual. And trust me, as painful as this spurt has been and only being 5'2", I truly wish it were a physical spurt. So please forgive me for the lack of consistency in posting and know that everything comes from my heart and the battles I share are really being fought.

The title for this post was taken from a Facebook response from my friend Susan.  I loved it so much it prompted a long overdue blog post.

She and I are in waiting mode. We are staring at the opportunity for great things to happen in our lives but we have to wait. Patiently wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait. And wait some more. Did I mention, that we have to wait? The problem is we are both doers. We have back-up plans to our back-up plans. We makes lists, check off our lists and get things done. God made us this way. He made us this way for a purpose. And now, He has put us both in a situation where we have no control and can do nothing about our circumstances. Something totally against who we are.

I found a wonderful quote and posted in Facebook that stated: Patience is not the ability to wait but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting. To which my wonderful, beautiful friend replied "Pfft!" Well said friend, well said! And guess who failed that test... I did!

I have had something amazing happen in my life recently. It is potentially life changing and something I have dreamt of for a very long time. The problem is I have to wait 4 weeks before I know anything. Four very LLLLOOOONNNNGGGG weeks.

During the first week of waiting, I was thrilled. I could think of nothing but the possibilities. I was giddy. Silly, dance around, giggle for nothing, big goofy smile giddy. And then that all went away with one stupid thought. A seed planted by the enemy that took root and started to steal my joy.

I have walked around for the past week hearing comments like: "This will never happen to you." "You are crazy to think this will happen." "You do not deserve it." Oh, the best one and again the most difficult to say is "It is mean for God to get you to this point and let you down." You know what I am talking about, the whole "you are not worthy and God doesn't care" spiel. How could I ever for one second think God is mean and doesn't care about me? Hmm? When everything worth anything in this life He "doesn't care about" comes from Him and only Him. Just remember- this spiel comes from some crappy salesman trying to sell you something you neither want or need and certainly do not deserve.

Let me put it in perspective. What is happening in my life is akin to being nominated for an Oscar. Even if you do not win, you were good enough to be nominated. How many people can say that? If you met a Oscar nominated person, I do not think your first words would be "Oh, it sucks for you, you didn't win." I am hoping the words would be more like "Wow, what an honor to be nominated."

But I let the enemy steal the joy of being nominated. I have walked around in a funk for a week because I let him dictate my future. A future that he has no control over whatsoever. Only God has control. That is worth repeating a second time. Only GOD has control. Now granted, I would love a sneak peek at the playbook but that is not how it works. God wants us to be happy and enjoy life. Jesus walked on this Earth and experienced life here. He knows the difficulties of the world. He wants us to be content, joyful and enjoy life. He said in John 10:10 AND:

Ecclesiastes 8:15
So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun.

And Psalm 16:11
You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.

That doesn't mean life will always be easy and that there will not be hardships. The world doesn't work that way. But it is knowing God has control and even in the midst of the difficult times, He is there guiding us and giving us peace. The crazy thing is it wasn't during a difficult time that my peace and joy were stolen. It was during a wonderful time. Proof that we can never let our guard down and must always wear the armor of God. So my previous statement should read- It is knowing that God is in control ALL of the time and He is guiding us and giving us peace.

I want to ask that y'all pray for me the next two weeks while I wait. Pray that I can remember the words I just committed to paper. Pray that I can remember what an amazing God we have that He knows our hopes and dreams and wants to help us achieve them. I know that whatever the outcome, it is God's purpose for my life and I will be honored, pleased and joyful that I was simply nominated.

I wish that for everyone. The knowledge that God loves us, never fails us and has our back against all evils. That He wants us to be happy and enjoy the life he has given us whatever the circumstances may be. We need to make sure we enjoy the journey on the way to the destination.

love- j

PS- please forgive the typos. I am trying to get this post in before heading off to carol.

Instructions? I don't need no stinkin' instructions.

I am finding that I am pretty good at making up excuses to not blog. I am finally doing what God has been telling me to do and I have been completely ignoring.  I have given up a lot of my tv time. Goodbye Mark Harmon, I will see you on the DVR... Now on to the post.

W-D 40, duct tape and vaseline. Those were the only items necessary for my Deddy to "fix" pretty much anything; shoes, cars, plumbing, electrical. Oh, and after watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Windex. Nope, not joking. At any given time there were approximately 87 containers of vaseline, 23 cans of W-D 40 and enough rolls of duct tape to makes dresses for every girl at my senior prom (saw that on Pinterest-duct tape prom dress). Not sure what he did with the Windex but thankfully I was married long before the movie came out and my pre-wedding blemish was handled the good old-fashioned way- toothpaste.

He was a tinkerer? tinkeree? Are those even words? But anyway, he liked to tinker. He enjoyed fixing things and was very good at it. It came naturally to him. He had the ability to take something apart, look at and for the most part get it back up and running with minimum "extra" pieces left on the floor when he was done.

He could open a box of "something to be put together", take one look at the instructions, quickly discard them and in a bit would have it put together again with only a few "extra" pieces left over. Most of the time he got it done and well. On very few occasions, not so much, just ask those of us who got a slight buzz in the pool. Oh no, not the alcohol kind, I mean a good old fashion buzz of electricity from a light he knew he could fix. Thankfully no one was at risk of serious injury and the buzz has been fixed.

I think because he was good at what he did and had been doing it for so long he sometimes forgot his limitations and didn't feel it was necessary to consult the instructions. Like I said, for the most part it wasn't needed but when it was, it really really was needed. The pool buzz is how my hair got curly. Just kidding. :)

I have been thinking about him and his ability a lot lately. He showed my sister and I how to fix things around the house which has come in very handy. Any time I find myself fixing a toilet, leaky faucet or other minor house thingie, I think of him. I had no idea that God had a blog post for all of this until today. You see I am like my Dad in my Christian walk. I have be doing it so long, it comes naturally and that sometimes means I take things for granted. I leave an instructions manual untouched or have a few extra peices leftover that can fortify what I am doing. Basically, I think I can handle this and sometimes forget to ask God what He would like for me to do.

I have had a few things on my mind the past few weeks. Things that weigh heavily and can be scary. I have felt God begin to move me in a direction that has not been very comfortable and so while I have prayed about it, I really have been trying to dodge the situation entirely. However, the past week or so, I am finding that God wants to deal with it whether I am ready to or not. So as I always do when I need to contemplate, I took a day off to clean. (My husband LOVES contemplation days!) I clean, listen to past sermons and praise music. I also talk to God, a lot and out loud. I have fewer distractions and I make the time to talk with Him. It helps me to hear Him better.

Today was different. I did all of the things I normally do but I was nervous. I was beginning to get that knowing that happens when God has something planned and you have shut up long enough to hear it. A sense of finality is the only way I can describe it. And I didn't like it one bit. Sorry, but I didn't. I promised to be truthful in this blog and that is the truth of it. It is not comfortable and I do not like it. But bet your bottom dollar not being comfortable and not liking it doesn't mean for one second I am not going to do it. Been there, done that, failed miserably.

Now I have been a Christian for a very long time. I remember singing in Church at age six and knowing that the feeling I felt when singing about Jesus was something I wanted to carry with me everyday and share with everybody. So... I should know what to do when facing the above and I did, I sent a message to my dear friend, my dear Christian friend. And do you know what she did? She picked up the hastily discarded instruction manual, handed it to me and made me read it. Her response simply said:
Luke 1:37, then let's talk. I would add to that Proverbs 16:9.
I am not paraphrasing. I just cut and pasted that straight from the message. Now I could sing the praises of this friend for lots of reasons but how wonderful is it that God has put someone in my life who would know the right thing to do isn't to offer advice but to offer the Word? Boy do I know how to choose 'em. :) Hubby, friends, I would say family but they kinda got stuck with me, poor things.

Yep- that's her!

Why is it so easy to forget that we have an instruction manual? The Bible is God's word on how to handle living in the world. I have never turned to it and not found either comfort or guidance on how to live or handle a situation I am facing. He has given it to us in 1700 different ways so that we can find what works for us. Unfortunately, I have not been someone who spent time in the Word on a regular basis. There I said it. Maybe it is because I have been a Christian so long, I sometimes fall into the "I got this" trap. Or the I pray so I'm good. I regret that I have not and I constantly feel like I am playing catch up but I am getting there. A little bit at a time, everyday, I am getting there.

So the next time something in our life is broken, catawampus or something needs to be built, we need to pray and then go straight to the instruction manual. Or go straight to the instruction manual and pray, which ever of those orders works best for you. Better yet, we should spend enough time in the Word to know it by heart. And with family and friends like the ones I have always referring me back to it, I am getting there, slowly but surely.

In case you were wondering here they are...

Luke 1:37
For no word from God will ever fail.

Proverbs 16:9
In their hearts humans plan their course,  but the Lord establishes their steps.

love- j

Happy Halloween

I hate horror movies! It drives me crazy watching the trembling damsel in distress "hide" in the closet thinking that the evil monster is not going to find her. 1. He is chasing you. 2. He can see in the dark. 3. The closet is always the first place they look. And 4. Your agent should have so negotiated for a better part.

I need to write that scene. It would look something like "Oh H-E-Double Hockey Sticks No! Where is my baseball bat? I will show you sneaking up on me, ruining my prom dress and causing me to break a heel. Do you know how much these shoes cost and they were on sale? You may kill me but it is so going to be on before you do!" Do not mess with a Southern woman who suffered through 5 hours at the beauty parlor to have it ruined by a crazed axe-wielding maniac. She may bite the dust but she will do it fighting tooth and perfectly manicured nail!

Another favorite is going back to check that the monster is dead. Really? In that moment of just finishing the fight of your life, you decide "Hey, I am not sure I killed the monster in sequel number 75, let me walk back over and kick him for good measure." My behind would have had my '82 vette in the wind. That would be Chevette but potato- putaato.

Or, my all time favorite, running from the monster while looking back. Pray tell, how on Earth are you going to get away from something if you are not looking forward to see where you are going?

You know these scenes. Damsel in high heels and short skirt takes off running. She has a good head start. And just when you think she is going to get away, she looks behind her, tripping over the tree root and twisting her ankle. Next thing you know she is flying all over the screen like mud in a political campaign.

Maybe in the heat of the chase you are thinking, I need to know where he is, how can I get away if I don't know where he is? Easy- Does he currently have his hands on you? Can you feel his breath on your neck? If not- keep running like you have been on a year long no carb diet and the "Hot Now" Krispy Kreme light just came on! Run to the donut, I mean light. RUN TO THE LIGHT!

I am beginning to think I may be watching to much "Scare Week" on A&E.

This may be the point in reading that you think "How is she going to turn this into a post about being a Christian?" Well pumpkin, so am I. This will be interesting.

Of course, I am joking. I know where this is going. It is going to the place where we as Christians try to move forward while looking back.

I am not talking about learning from our mistakes. That is a pivotal process in gaining wisdom. I could quickly list 100 things in my life that I totally and completely screwed up but through God's grace and cleaning up the mess those mistakes made, they became the greatest blessings in my life.

I am referring to the things that we have done that we hold onto and they prevent us from moving forward or come back to haunt us when we are trying to do something God is moving us toward.

I cannot tell you how emabarrassed I am by what I am about to share. It was a stupid mistake that happened in the heat of the moment. And because of that the enemy uses it against me every single opportunity he can. Here goes...

I yelled a very bad curse word at a softball game. I was frustrated and before I could stop myself out it came, at a game with families and small children. My parents raised me to have manners. I got my behind swatted on many an occasion for doing something that was perceived as impolite or disrespectful. If my Mama had been standing there, oh thank God she wasn't, I would have probably been in more trouble that I have ever seen. And I am not using Thank God loosely, I mean it. Thank you God for sparing my mother hearing that come out of my mouth. I can still see the looks on everyone's face like it is happening right this very second. They were shocked. I was mortified. If I could have found a rock, I would have tried to slither underneath it. Here is the thing- this happened 17 years ago. I can replay it in my mind like it was 5 minutes ago.

You can believe it is something that I prayed about, ask forgiveness for and work on even to this day. I still have a curse word or two that I pull out for special occasions but I again I work on it everyday! That moment made me mindful of what I say, when I say it and how I say it. It also showed me how careful you have to be when choosing your words because you cannot take them back and they can hang out there for a very long while! So a very important lesson was learned and is still being learned.

Remember how I said I can close my eyes and remember like it just happened? I remember, a lot. Like when I am getting ready to step on stage to sing on Sunday morning. Pretty much any time there is a possibility something good can come from my voice or my words, I think of this incident. And then I hear "If they only knew, they would pull you off this stage in a hot minute." "You should be so embarrassed. I cannot believe you are even thinking about opening your mouth to say anything." "How can anything good come from you with that stupid mistake?" The reel of Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda that plays in my head can be crippling.

I am running from the monster while looking back.

Can I tell you how much I love 2 Corinthians 10:4-5?

4. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

We take captive every thought to make it odedient to Christ!!!

It is not He that condemns us like the thoughts above. He will convict us but not condemn us.

Think of conviction as the answer. Conviction is God showing you that the blood of Jesus means you are forgiven and offers you the answer to whatever situation/problem you are facing. That doesn't mean the answer will be all candy canes and lollipops but sometimes there is a little ouchie with growing. But growing is ever so worth it.

Condemnation? It makes you a candyless pinata. You can beat that sucker to the ground and nothing good will come out of it. Seriously, condemnation beats you up, tears you down but falls short of helping you fix it.

So let's get this straight, I can believe:
I am horrible, loser, failure who is not worthy of forgiveness

Or, I can believe:

He was there, He saw and He still loved me in the very moment I said it! AND He forgave me.
Not only that, He even uses this very same mouth to spread the message of His love and forgiveness.

1 John 1:9 says
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Isaiah 30:18
Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion.

For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!

The User Manual for Christians (a.k.a. the Bible) once again saves the day.
 

It boils down to a trick- Believe a liar and a thief who hates me.

 

Or a treat- Believe Him, who loved me so much he died for me.

The easiest choice I will ever make.

 

love- j

 

 

Call Me Spiller, Drink Spiller

I know I've mentioned this before, I have moments where being graceful simply doesn't work for me. I have been known to have moments of clutziness. It is who I am and how God made me. I am good with it unless the outcome requires doctor's visits. Luckily, He gave me and everyone else that knows and loves me a pretty healthy sense of humor. 99% of the time we wind up laughing it off and sharing a pretty funny story after the cast comes off. (I have only broken one bone in my life which is proof that God performs miracles everyday!)  I was destined to be that way because it started at a very early age. I became known as a drink killer before the age of 2. The one person when spotting a drink at fifty paces could knock that sucker over in 10 seconds flat. There are times when a glass would go flying and it had to be I knocked it over with the power of my mind.

 

Every single time I would sit down to the supper table, I would knock over any drink sitting before me. And I mean every single time. My mother would move the glass and I would somehow find a way to stretch my arms 10 feet long and over it would go. Oh, I had a sippy cup with a secure lid. My sweet tea was safe, it was all the others that were in danger. I actually think there were under the table bets on how long a person's drink would last.

 

Pre-drink killer

But the glint in the eye tells of things to come!

 

 

You can imagine the scene whenever we went to dinner with someone. Mama would whip out the high chair and everybody else would high tail it to the opposite end of the table. Here I was sitting at one end of the table with everyone else smushed all together at the other end covered in plastic. I'm sure people walking by thought "Awww look at the little princess with her admirers". Little did they know that others were sitting at the end at a table for fear of ruining an outfit or looking like they had not made it to the loo in time. Everyone was hoping when the inevitable happened, the table would be long enough that the water/tea wouldn't quite reach them. Some survived, others not so lucky. I apologize now to those who walked to the restrooms explaining that no it really was tea and after a few cycles under the hand dryer everything would be like new.

 

I share this story because it immediately popped into my mind after my bible study this morning. You see, my bible study was "Fix Your Thoughts on Jesus". It is a part on amazing 1 year devotional by Rick Warren. This devotional was aimed at defeating temptation. It discusses media intake and making sure that we equip ourselves biblically and through discipline to avoid temptation. This really hit home because unfortunately, I have not only given into temptation recently, I have languished in it. When I say temptation I do not mean having a cupcake (which I did), not going to the gym (my membership card is dusty) or not being selective with what I have been watching the wrong stuff on TV (I am unplugging it!), I am talking about a temptation that has led me to not being very Christian-like and influencing others to do the same. And it appears I need to work on the other temptations as well. Ouch toes!

 

Someone recently hurt me which made me sad. And as it is in this broken world, the more hurt and sad I became, the angrier I became. Anger is not pretty, it makes you say things that are not nice. And while there may be a small element of truth to what you are saying, the opportunity to reconcile the truth gets lost in the way it is being delivered. It causes irreparable damage. I am lucky, or so I thought, that I have not said anything to this person so I can approach them when the time is right and maybe mend the hurt.

 

Here is where the spilled drink come in... When we are angry and do not guard our thoughts and focus on Jesus, they become like the spilled tea. They run everywhere and unfortunately in this case, it was right in my husband's lap. Because I gave in to the temptation of saying things without focusing on Jesus and did not fill my mind with things that are true, noble and right, I said things to him that have changed the way he feels about this person. I did that. I am not saying that I should not have discussed my feelings or that you should not when you are hurt. There are times you absolutely need to "vent" especially with someone who can help you re-focus on Jesus and the process of giving it to Him to help you through it. But you have to stop and focus on the things that are Godly, true, noble and right. Instead I added fuel to the fire under the guise of being justified in how I felt. I caused someone else to be hurt and angry. Way to go there, Skipper!

 

We have to be careful as Christians about how we face our temptations in whatever form they come. It is not just about us. Other people watch what we are doing and how we handle things and some of those people are looking up to us as examples. Seriously, you do not know how heavily that weighs on me. I am so far removed from perfect it is frightening. I feel like screaming- "Hey watch me and then do the absolute opposite and you will be just fine." I fail, falter and fall flat on my face on a pretty regular basis. I still feel like the weeble-wobbler toddler that knocked over drinks. But that is me in my confidence.

I love 1 Corinthians 10:13 it says:
13. No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

Did I mention I love what it says? Knowing to lean on God in those moments and using scripture, just as Jesus did in the desert when tempted by Satan, as your weapon. There is your Godly confidence. That stuff that keeps you out of hot water.

Did I also mention that I sometimes forget what it says?

I had a way out. Oh-so-smart-and-wonderful Hubby said "Stop thinking and talking about it. You are allowing it to eat at you and that is not healthy." I should have listened. Oh hello- my friend Shoulda Woulda Coulda.

But hubby was close to the Godly answer and it was simple. The quickest way to kill temptation is to turn your thoughts somewhere else- scripture. The verse states that God will provide you a way out so that you can endure it. BUT you have to be willing to follow the way out!!! Sometimes it is so fun to "waller" in the mud and get others dirty right along with you.

But sweetheart, God can't save you when you are drowning if you keep swatting his hand away.

I leave you with Mark 14:38 words from Jesus and the prayer that God will repair what I broke and keep us all from paying attention to what is worthless and harmful.

Mark 14:38
38. Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

love-j

PS- I just spilled coffee from my spill-proof mug. :)
 

 

I Can't Get No Satisfaction

I have naturally curly hair. Very curly hair. Very frizzy curly hair. I have colored, stretched, straightened, twisted and cursed my hair into various forms of "cuteness". And I use the word cuteness in the loosest terms possible, it was more like I looked like the Bride of Frankenstein a little less than normal.

I am 5'2" and that is standing as straight as my Grandmother would like for me to stand all of the time. I will shove my feet into sassy 4" heels and hobble my way to work and social gatherings in a New York minute. I find myself praying that if I can just get to work and put my feet in my amazingly comfortable little slippers that I keep under my desk, I will never be that mean to my feet again, EVER. At least not until tomorrow. When we are out and I am wearing those shoes, I am not too sure I would not race a little old lady to the last chair available if I thought it meant I would not have to stand all night in shoes designed by a man with a nagging wife or a minion of Satan.

I wear colored mascara that brings out the green of my eyes, the brown of my eyes or the hazel of them. I have tried every make-up product known to man. I have looked "re-freshed", natural, sassy, smoky and "no daughter of mine is walking out of the house with that much make-up on, you look like Tammy Faye." Now, I do not care how much "help" you think you need, no one wants their make-up compared to Tammy Faye.

I have sucked it in, sucked it up and worn the most uncomfortable support garments known to womankind to look good in that new dress because I had nothing to wear to insert whatever here _________. Support garments have come a long way since the 1920's back, but they are horribly uncomfortable now. No wonder men thought women were weak during the 1700's and 1800's. They were stuffed into petticoats and corsets tied tighter than Dick's hatband. They were uncomfortable, could not breathe and probably irritated 99% of the time because they were hungry. I mean why, pray tell, would you eat anything to add to the discomfort. They were faint from lack of breath and nourishment.

And back to the insert here... My poor husband has no sisters. He is the youngest of two boys. There is a lot of stubborn "boy" in that household between my father-in-law, brother-in-law and husband! And his Mama is a lovely, well put together woman but not necessarily a girlie-girl. Then he married me... A girlie-girl who has moments like Lucy and think Ms. Congeniality after the make-over and tripping her way to the plane. Oh the stories he could tell, like Christmas 5 years ago. We were getting ready for his work Christmas party and I was on outfit number 735. Nothing was working and it was getting close to time to go. He walks to the closet and pulls out a lovely skirt. Here is where we should offer key advice to any wonderful husband trying to help. Before pulling out ANY lovely, adorable skirt after 735 mis-fires, please oh please, make sure it is not one that no longer fits. Because you may or may not find yourself watching the following scene.

I literally had to lay on the bed to zip said skirt and it barely zipped. When I went to stand up, I could not. I was scared to stand because I was terrified it would split. This led to a 5 minute hysterical fit that I was fat, nothing fits and I have nothing to wear. I will not be cute and how could he want me to go with him when I looked hideous in everything I had tried on. My mascara had run down my face into my hair because I was lying on my back on the bed. My eyes are bloodshot and I was pretty snotty thanks to all of the crying. Now I am pretty sure up to that point, I did not look all that bad and would have been a touch sassy had I not had a crying fit that literally made me look like a goth with pearls.

Sassy began at an early age.

Maybe not...

I have mentioned in several posts how sweet and wonderful my husband is and I am sure you are waiting for the sweet, thoughtful words my husband said to me at that moment. Here they are... "Jody Lynn- I would not have married you if I thought you were unattractive. Now roll off the bed, put on the first dress you tried on and fix your mascara. We are going to be late." I sniffle my way up and thankfully the skirt did not rip. I put on the first dress, fix my face and off we go to have a fun night. Poor, poor hubby.

What is it about human nature that is never satisfied? I mean NEVER satisfied! Stop and think about it.

Here is a compilation of my greatest hits: (Again, this stuff is so difficult to type. It makes me sound so ungrateful and childish BUT these are things I have said.)

I am tired and really do not want to work in the yard today. Did we have to buy a house with a big yard?
OR
I am so busy and this house is a sight. I don't feel like cleaning it. Why can't we have someone come and clean it?
Oh, you mean the house you prayed about for months, that God had his hand on and everything worked out perfectly for you to live there? You are too tired or cannot find the time to take care of that blessing?

I cannot believe the hubby left the closet doors open again or put the sugar in the wrong spot or did or didn't do this.
That's right the man who pretty much puts up with your junk and loves you unconditionally? Why don't we  focus on the 5 things you don't like versus the 500,000 things he does that are absolutely amazing.

My job is stressful and takes a lot out of me. Haven't I worked hard enough to have it easier at this point?
Hard work and God's direction has put you in a job that has the terrific people and remarkable benefits and hard work is required to keep you there. Think of what you have not what you don't because I am sure there are tons of people who would be happy to fill that spot for you.

I don't want to go to church this Sunday. It is my only day to get some rest and by the time it is done over half the day is gone.
Yeah church- one of the few places you go where you walk-out uplifted and equipped to handle what the world is going to throw at you. Now why on Earth would you ever want to go there?

Not a pretty picture and that is on a good day...

I want to be like Paul. He knew that only in and through Christ are joy, contentment and satisfaction possible. Philippians is my go to book when I need encouragement about life or a good smack upside the head when I am being a brat. And he is writing this while in jail. JAIL- people! So a soft cushy chair, with coffee, classical music and a cute puppy curled up in your lap was not the circumstances in which this book was written unlike this blog. Listen to what he is saying and how many times he says glad (feeling joy or pleasure-delighted, pleased; characterized by or showing cheerfulness).

Philippians 4:4-9

4 Be glad in the Lord always! Again I say, be glad! 5 Let your gentleness show in your treatment of all people. The Lord is near. 6 Don’t be anxious about anything; rather, bring up all of your requests to God in your prayers and petitions, along with giving thanks. 7 Then the peace of God that exceeds all understanding will keep your hearts and minds safe in Christ Jesus.

8 From now on, brothers and sisters, if anything is excellent and if anything is admirable, focus your thoughts on these things: all that is true, all that is holy, all that is just, all that is pure, all that is lovely, and all that is worthy of praise. 9 Practice these things: whatever you learned, received, heard, or saw in us. The God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4:11-13

11 I’m not saying this because I need anything, for I have learned how to be content in any circumstance. 12 I know the experience of being in need and of having more than enough; I have learned the secret to being content in any and every circumstance, whether full or hungry or whether having plenty or being poor. 13 I can endure all these things through the power of the one who gives me strength.

Now I am saving the toe cruncher, I mean, best for last...

Philippians 2:13-18

13 God is the one who enables you both to want and to actually live out his good purposes. 14 Do everything without grumbling and arguing 15 so that you may be blameless and pure, innocent children of God surrounded by people who are crooked and corrupt. Among these people you shine like stars in the world 16 because you hold on to the word of life. This will allow me to say on the day of Christ that I haven’t run for nothing or worked for nothing. 17 But even if I am poured out like a drink offering upon the altar of service for your faith, I am glad. I’m glad with all of you. 18 You should be glad about this in the same way. Be glad with me!

Go ahead and try and give me an argument/excuse for not doing the above. Did I mention Paul was in jail?!?! Kinda, sorta puts things in perspective doesn't it?

On that note, the next time my hubby drinks out of the milk carton, I will be glad he is comfortable in the home we have built together. The next time work starts getting crazy, I will be glad that I have a good job with people I respect and respect me. The next time I am working in the yard, I will be glad that I have a yard and enjoy all of the beauty of God it contains.

And the next time I have nothing to wear.... I will be glad.... Ummm.... Well.... Okay the scene may play out exactly the same. Baby steps, baby steps.

love- j

The Whole Truth and Nothing But

Phew- that is over. That crazy time of the year where my job has me working long hours. Things are calming down and it is time to get back to blogging.

I have not had the time to study like I should. Okay- the title is the whole truth and nothing but so that is what I going to give you. I have started a few post over the past few weeks. They start out okay and disintegrate quickly. In the craziness of my schedule, I made a choice and one of those was to skip my bible study and sacrifice my quiet time. And how can you listen to God, when you are not in a place to hear him. It's simple you cannot. So in this episode of the Sass Mouth Christian, I am spilling my guts.

I am starting with the easy one- I have skipped my quiet time and my bible study the past few weeks. I am back on the straight and narrow but I have to say not having that time caused a disconnect. I found myself allowing things that I am normally able to let go bother me. I was not the nicest of people. I want to confess that first.

I am not perfect. No one I know is perfect. There has only been one person on this Earth who was perfect and try as I might to be like Him, I fail miserably.

People drive me crazy. They do things that I think are stupid or annoying. I know that sounds terrible especially since I am far from perfect myself and people have to "deal" with my stupid and annoying on a regular basis. But staying connected to God and his word allows me to see the person and not just the thing they are doing that are driving me CRAZY! He opens that window of making you think about the person, who they are and why they may be doing what they are doing. That helps you better understand where they are coming from and that helps keep you out of jail for physical bodily harm. I'm just kidding, maybe.

It takes work for me to be a nice person. I try to be a nice, kind, understanding and diplomatic person. I try and sometimes I am successful. The vast majority of the time I am not. It is very difficult to be a nice person. Sometimes I want to just tell it like it is and the rest be darned.  I do not want to have to stop and think about what I am saying because it may be misinterpreted. I do not want to pick up trash in a parking lot. Why should I? I did not leave it there. I do not want to pretend to be a big girl when all I want to do is pout.

Marriage is hard! There are days I love him so much it frightens me because I know we are not promised tomorrow. There are days he makes me laugh. He makes me feel safe and secure. But then there are the days that I really could ring his neck. He can make me the maddest, the craziest and sometimes the not so nicest I have even been. (And, I know I do the same to him.)

I cuss sometimes like a sailor. It is a horrible habit. I have to be so conscience of what I am saying around people other than my family because I am I scared I will slip up and say something that will make my mama wash my mouth out with soap.

Here a few other things I do- I speed, a lot. I hate cleaning. I have a beautiful home that God has given me and I have dust bunnies the size of my Yorkie under the bed. I hate to exercise even though I know it is good for the body I am suppose to treat like a temple. I pout, sulk and any other word you would like to insert when things do not go exactly as I want them to. I say things are unfair as I sit in my nice home with my great job and wonderful husband, family, friends and complain about all the blessings I have.

I have had times in my life when I have been angry and it was recently, like yesterday recently. And I have been angry at God. That wasn't yesterday but it has happened. I am so tempted to erase that statement. I am scared that if I type it and you read it, you will think differently of me. How can a Christian say she has been angry at God? How am I to read her blog now and think she has something good to say about being a Christian? It is simple, I am a human being with a sin nature.

Everything listed above is me. Now let me show you what is not me and what is all God...

15 years ago in November, I married a good man. An excellent man with a good heart, a head screwed on straight and the patience of Job. I have matured and become a better person thanks to the man that I married. He encourages me to use the gifts God has given me and always has the right Godly answer when I need it. He has earned every bit of the respect that I freely gave him from the beginning and then some. He is a good son, husband, friend and person. He is a gift from God and I am grateful. All of the blessings that have come into my life from my marriage is from God having his hand on it. Every time we have had issues because no one couple or a marriage is perfect is due to us not taking the time to listen to God and his plans for us. God makes my marriage a good marriage.

People think I am kind or to quote my Aunt, that I am "a good girl". That is Southern for you were raised right. No, I am not always a good girl, well I was raised right, but doing what is right is still a choice. When I do something that makes people think I am a "good girl" it is because I just wrestled with not wanting to do it but decided to submit to God's will. Truth be told most days my prayer goes a little something like this "Heavenly Father, it better be more you than me today because if you let me take over there's going to be a whole lot of hurt feelings in my wake and a hot mess to clean up." Does this mean that all of a sudden people stop driving you crazy? Absolutely not, but God will change your way of thinking about it. Why do they do this or why do they do that? He gives you insight that helps with dealing with the annoyingness. And remember... He is giving someone the insight to deal with your annoyingness.

"God, how could you do this to me?" Have you ever said these words? I have. It was when I was angry. I had just lost my Deddy to a very difficult battle with cancer, my mother had fallen and broken her leg after her battle with cancer and taking care of my dad and my father-in-law was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. All of this happened within 7 months. I was sad, hurt, grieving, miserable, tired and angry. I was angry at cancer, at the world and angry at God. How could he take my Deddy? How could he let this happen to Mama? How could he let this happen to Brucie? Hadn't we had enough? Exactly how much more did he plan on throwing at us before enough was enough? I cried. I cussed. I threw things. I got it all out of my system. After acting like a 2 year old, I realized something, God had given me everything I needed to survive the things that were happening all around me. I have a wonderful husband who let me be a crazy bat while sorting through my feelings. A family that sticks together through all of the scary things happening around us.  I have a home that is a haven of security and love that I am blessed to be able to go home to every night. I have friends that offered whatever support was needed. A job that allows me to work on Saturday or late in the evenings in case I need to take time off to take care of things. And most importantly I have the promise of God that He is in control and if I trust Him I will get through it and that something good would come of it. These were only things that I could be reminded of when spending time with God and in His word.

So enough 'fessing. I guess I need to get to the heart of the matter. All of the good in my life comes from when I shut up long enough to hear God and then be smart enough to do what He wants me to do. The messes come from when I don't. And you cannot expect to hear him clearly when you are not spending time with him. So make the time people! It is the most important thing you can do.

Romans 8:5
Don’t live under the control of your sinful nature. If you do, you will think about what your sinful nature wants. Live under the control of the Holy Spirit. If you do, you will think about what the Spirit wants.

2 Timothy 3:16
God has breathed life into all of Scripture. It is useful for teaching us what is true. It is useful for correcting our mistakes. It is useful for making our lives whole again. It is useful for training us to do what is right.

Thessalonians 5:16-18
Always be joyful. ¹⁷ Never stop praying. ¹⁸ Give thanks no matter what happens. God wants you to thank him because you believe in Christ Jesus.

love- j

Courage

I am a World War II buff. I enjoy the history but I am very interested in the stories of the people... Ordinary people doing extraordinary things in the face of insurmountable odds. I have read books, watched documentaries and films about amazing people doing what is right when it would have been so easy to go along with everyone else. And considering the atrocities that they faced, I do not think many people would have blamed them for going along with everyone else.

I read the stories, see the films and pray that I would have the strength, courage and fortitude to stand up and do what is right because it is right. Do I do it now? I try to, to the best of my ability. But for me that means picking up an empty Dr. Pepper can in the church parking lot. It certainly is not fighting for the life of a complete stranger who is being persecuted.

I recently watched a film called Orchestra Of Exiles. It is about Bronislaw Huberman a Polish violinist. It is a very good film and I recommend watching it if you have the opportunity. Mr. Huberman created the Palestine Philharmonic as a way to get Jewish musicians out of Germany. However, it was the statement of Rosi Grunschlag that really stood out. Ms. Grunschlag's mother and brother had been rescued but she and her sister remained. She stated that "Somehow, God gives you extra courage. You don't know where it comes from but at that moment it gives you strength."

I have been haunted by that statement.

"Somehow, God gives you extra courage. You don't know where it comes from but at that moment it gives you strength."

I will be honest, I am a wimp. An extremely comfortable wimp. My life is good. I have a wonderful husband, a nice house, a good job, a great family and great friends. Yes, we live on a budget and I clip coupons and shop for sales but we have a lovely, comfortable life. I am happy, content and comfortable. I don't want to change anything about my life. And that is the problem.

What opportunity is God trying to give me that I keep flubbing because I am comfortable in the very spot I am in right now? You know that slightly worn space in your favorite chair that fits your tookus perfectly and makes you feel all comfy cozy? I think God may be telling me to get out of it.

Where is my courage? Could I, would I step outside of my very comfortable zone to try something crazy to further God's Kingdom?

The definition of comfortable as it applies to a person or situation is- producing mental comfort or ease, easy to accommodate oneself to.

Easy doesn't require great effort. I want some easy in my life. Life is crazy, sometimes easy is nice. Not because I am lazy, my parents instilled a crazy work ethic into my sister and I. It is because I am scared. Scared of the unknown and all that comes with it... I sometimes box my Christianity into a nice little package of Salvation. That is the only time I need to trust that God has got me. I am all good when I die because I know where I am going. I know unequivocally that God has control of that piece of my life. If I believe he has control and will not let me down on the most important aspect of my life- Why am I NOT trusting him to have control of all the other aspects and allowing him to push me out of the airplane, I mean my comfort zone?

Where is the extra courage that God gives me? Why am I so afraid of it? I need to wake up because Revelations 3:15-17 says:

"'I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! 16 So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. 17 For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.

The logical side of my brain is saying- because it is scary and I am afraid. But the spiritual side is screaming "Let it go! Listen to God, let him lead you into the purpose he has had designed for you since he thought of you. He HAS your back like he has for the past 32 years." (I am not crazy enough to put my actual age in writing on the internet! Then people would know.) :) Everything I have ever allowed him to have complete control over has enriched my life in ways I could never have dreamt possible at the time. And trust me, some of the things have been crazy.

I shared this story recently and I think it came up because God wants me to share it here. My husband is a Good Man. I got so lucky! He is a Good Man. He has made wise decisions in our married life that have blessed us immensely. We had been discussing selling our house and I never seemed to be able to get him to commit to putting it on the market. We discussed it and discussed it some more. We deliberated, argued and deliberated some more. He just would not make up his mind. I felt God telling me it was time in a way that it could not have been any clearer than if God had stood in front of me and said "Jody Lynn- I am putting the sign in your yard myself!" I convinced Brad to at least let me have a realtor come out and look at the house. After 1 hour of visiting with this realtor, I knew it was the right thing to do. I told him to put the sign in the yard. You can imagine my husband's surprise when he came home to a "For Sale" sign in the yard. He walked in and said "Honey, why is our house for sale?" I told him the truth, that I needed him to trust me that God was leading me to do this. It was time and we would not go wrong trusting God. His response- "Okay what's for supper?"

Side note- the answer to the what's for supper question should never be fish when you put your house on the market. It is like a magnet for potential buyers.

Our house sold 9 days later. He was comfortable and his comfort was holding him back. We now live in a neighborhood we used to drive by at Christmas and play "pretend like" we lived here. There was a huge purpose in God blessing us with our "pretend like" house. I am going to say this- we do not live in that neighborhood because God's sole purpose was to bless us with bigger and better because we did what we were supposed to... I do not believe that God's way of blessing us above and beyond means cars, cash, houses or materialistic things unless those things help us accomplish his goals and we are ready to be responsible with them. We were in this neighborhood playing pretend like at Christmas because his parents lived there, not because what we had was not good enough. Five months after moving into our house, in the neighborhood we never thought we could afford, my father-in-law was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. We live two miles from them. It takes a lot of stress off of my father-in-law, mother-in-law and us to be so close. We are able to better take care of them. God had a purpose for that "For Sale" sign in the yard. We almost missed it because of comfort.

I do not know what God's plan for me is but I am stepping out of my comfort zone. I am praying for his extra courage to give me strength and asking that he takes me where he wants me to go.

I will end with Isaiah 43: 1-3

But now, this is what the Lord says- he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God,the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

Love- j

It's not you... Oh wait, it is.

Have you ever noticed being a Christian is a lot like being Molly Ringwald in a John Hughes movie?

(Just imagine what it is like for my Hubby... he gets comments like this ALL the time!)

It was like she always had to choose between two guys.

Guy #1- The Bad Boy. You the one I am talking about. Longish hair, earring, flannel plaid shirt, holey jeans, scar somewhere that made his look mysterious. He probably drives a motorcycle and looks darn good doing it. (And yes, I did just describe Judd Nelson in The Breakfast Club. Let us take a moment and remember... Dreamy.)

Guy #2- The Good Guy. Cute, great grades, works hard, the kind of guy you take to meet your parents. He drives an '82 Chevette and wears sensible shoes.

Life with #1 leads you down a path of dirty motels and running from the coppers. Later you find yourself trading cigarettes and candy bars with Big Bertha for protection in prison. (I may or may not have watch a little too much Investigation Discovery this weekend.)

Life with #2 leads to 2.5 children in a nice house, in a nice neighborhood spending the rest of your days holding hands and gazing lovingly at one another.

You know who she SHOULD pick but deep down you want her to pick the Bad Boy. And when she does and that goes to h-e-double hockey sticks in a hand basket, you smugly say "I knew she should have gone with Eric Stoltz in Some Kind of Wonderful!"

And while you may be reliving some really great 80's movies right now, you are probably wondering where in the world this post is going. My Christian GPS may seem a little wonky but I promise it will get us there, eventually.

There is a song by Mercy Me called So Long Self that I love. It is a song of breaking up with your "self". Like Molly having to constantly choose between #1 and #2, we have to choose between doing the right thing or listening to self. You know, that worldly part of you that causes you to make stupid mistakes or say stupid things that later has you seeking protection from a very large scary woman in prison. Or in reality and not my crazy 80's dream world, humbly walking to God and asking him to fix the mess that you have created.

Why is it so easy to pick Judd Nelson over Eric Stoltz, I mean, do the right thing instead of the worldly thing? We know what we should do, we have that voice telling us "Hit the brakes there love chops, you are getting ready to cause some problems!" and yet we ignore it and hit the gas instead. And by gas, I mean opening our mouths and letting hot air come out that should have remained behind the filter of our brain to our mouths. Because the self that we are to die to is so comfortable and so easy that we have a hard time breaking up with it.

Here is the crazy thing, I am beginning to no longer be viewed as the somewhat flaky late teen/early twenties girl I used to be. It seems that as I have "grown up", I have learned a few things that are worth sharing. I know, I am as frightened as y'all are about this. I recently lost my car keys for two weeks and yet, God wants to use me to help lead people to him. Isn't he afraid I may lose them? I know I am. Because I can open my mouth and say one thing to someone that will completely change how they view me, what I do, and why I do it. I have wonderful yet crazy people that come to me for advice. What if I say the wrong thing and it brings them grief or sends them in a direction that is the opposite of where God wants to lead them? Or what if the worldly part of me feels differently than the Godly part of me and she rears her ugly head? Honey do not think for one second that behind every Southern Lady there is not a redneck woman just biding her time, because there is. What if I choose the bad girl over the good girl? Now not only can I cause a mess in my life, I can cause one in someone else's. I could send someone on a run from the coppers and it will be my responsibility to supply them with candy bars and cigarettes.

Galatians 2:20 says:
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Right there in black and white, So Long Self. Again this is where we go back to being Christ like. The whole WWJD thing became cliche with the bracelets and bumper stickers. It is a good question and a good start. But the better question is "Jesus, what would you like for me to do?" How does He want you to proceed? What does He want you to say? Where is He guiding you in this process? Are we taking the time to ask Him? Or are we letting self just take over and insert mouth in foot? Are we allowing self to guide our actions not realizing that people are watching not only what we say but what we do? It is a constant struggle for me and a battle I lose more that I would like. People want to know if we Christians are putting our money where our mouths are. Are we?

I love how God gave us the perfect instruction manual. Maybe I need to tattoo these to my forehead so I remember. 

Proverbs 21:23
Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.

1 Peter 3:10
For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit;

Proverbs 4: 23
Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.

2 Peter 1:4
By which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.

love- j

Boy- You would worry the horns off a brass billy goat

My Deddy said that to me all the time. It usually meant I was worrying him over something I wanted or wanted him to do. You see he was a laid back kind of guy, a bless his heart way of saying he did things when he wanted to do them and at the pace he wanted. I am sitting here trying to think of a time when I ever saw him rushed and I got nothing for you. I cannot remember him panicking, he dealt with things as they came up. He may have thrown a tool or two and let slip a cuss word but panic, no. And yes he called me boy and no he was not confused, he just did. With yesterday being Father's Day, I have been thinking of him and missing him tremendously.

The poor man spent almost 30 years in an old farmhouse with one bathroom and three females. 1 Bathroom and everyone survived!! So when my parents moved, he built a hideout, I mean workshop. It is 2000 square feet and has a pool table, dance floor, bathroom and upstairs bedroom. The man was hiding from fingernail polish, perfume, make-up, break-ups and all things girlie. He had earned it. The thing that always tickled me was my parents called each other. He would be in the man-cave and mama would be in the living room and they would call each other to chat. When my parents bought this house, I was out of the house and married and my sister was grown. Mama could finally get the nice stuff she wanted and not be concerned about us spilling, dripping or dropping. One of the things she got was light beige carpet and threatened deddy within an inch of his life if he got it dirty. And when mama threatens, people listen. You can imagine mama's surprise when one Saturday her phone rings and it is deddy. He tells her he is standing on the deck and that he thinks he needs to go the Emergency Room since he cut his leg. He started the chainsaw while holding it and the kick back caused the chainsaw to "brush" his leg. (I feel I need to stop here and say he was okay and the cut only needed a few stitches. He was good with his hands and tools, but being good caused him to sometimes be careless.) Mama rushes outside sees blood and throws him in the car and off they go. Again, he was okay. When asked why he called her instead of going into the house to get her, his response was "Your mama would have killed me if I had gotten her carpet bloody." See no panicking...

I am sure this would be one of those instances that my mama would say deddy could worry the horns off of a brass billy goat. It probably was not the first time she ever thought it.

I think we all know people that we feel that way about. They drive you cRaZy. It can be someone from work, church, a friend, a friend of a friend or even someone you in which you share an abode. Unfortunately, the world that we live in is not the way God orginally intended. That is a heck of an understatement, isn't it? If the world was as God intended it, it would be perfect and I mean the now unobtainable on this Earth perfect. Excellent and complete beyond practical and theoretical improvement. We would LOVE everyone. Those things that we find annoying, would be adorable. It would be like when you first fall in love ALL the time. You know when squeezing the toothpaste tube from the middle was cute and not the catalyst for World War III. Or when that cute little snort of a laugh she has was ADORABLE instead of eye-roll inducing. Or when the your 6'3" hubby puts all the stuff the 5'3" wifey needs on the tippy top shelf of the cabinet and hides the step stool. Sorry- I had a moment.

It is sometimes very difficult to show the love of Jesus to people that annoy us. Why? Because they ANNOY us. I catch myself being nicer to strangers when shopping than I am with people who see me on a regular basis. I mean if you annoy me in the Target line I have about 5 minutes before one of us will be gone so I can keep that smile on just long enough to show good "Christian" love. You hit 5 minutes and 18 seconds and it may possibly be a different story.

I am not a convential prayer. I have a very conversational approach. I am trying to be better about how I pray because sometimes starting off  "Okay Lord, I am having a day." is probably not as reverential as I intend it to be. I do not expect to ever be a thee and thou kind of person but I don't want to be disrespectful. I never mean it as such but just to be on the safe side I am working on it. So I do sometimes catch myself saying- "Lord, this so needs to be all you and not me because if it is all me, we are going to have a hot mess to clean up."

How do we be the Christians we need to be to the people that know which buttons to press, push and stage a ten minute tap dance on? I sure do hope y'all are not expecting me to share some brilliant answer- cause I got nothing. This is one I get wrong all-the-time!!!! I let my frustration get in the way of letting God handle the situation and I make a mess that he has to clean up.

Romans 5:3-5 says

3. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;

4. And patience, experience; and experience, hope: 5. And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

 

Once again the brilliant answer comes straight from the Good Book. Patience. Be patient. It is good for you. "But- Uh- Well" you say. Oh, I get it. I missed class the day God was handing out patience. I also missed the make-up day. But our tribulations make us patient. Patient equals experience. And aren't our experiences good and bad what makes us wiser and stronger? I know one thing for certain, I have seen some amazing things happen from the absolute worst times in my life. Things that made the bad worth it. So maybe if we take time and have patience and put God in the driver's seat with those that drive us crazy, we can see amazing things happen. We will not be ashamed of our actions "because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts".

 

Now, if you will excuse me I am going to go have a little one-on-one time about this whole patience thing.

 

love- j

Oh Thank You! I love it... What is it?

Happy Father's Day!

I started thinking about this post a few weeks ago and started typing it, deleted it and started again. Nothing was working, it was a "meh" post so I stopped. I thought I would say something profound for those of you still blessed with your Fathers and it would make you stop and think how wise she is for sharing that... But it is always the me in the equation that causes problems. So I'll shut up and let God take the wheel. And it turns out this post is about gifts.

I have already spent my morning crying and this is not going to help. So I ask that you please bear with this unpolished, grammatically incorrect post.

God gifted me with being a Southerner and being country. I was raised in a world where my Mama taught us to love EVERYONE the way Jesus loved them, where Jesus was always watching and people did the right thing for no other reason than it was the right thing. Probably because Jesus was always watching. My mama's mama was mamie and my deddy's mama was grandma. My grandma saved scraps of cloth for quilting, washed out and reused ziptop bags and gave you a half a piece of Juicy Fruit in church on Sunday mornings. She gifted me frugality. My mamie took me to the field to pick veggies and canned or froze them. She would put a switch on the dashboard of the car for long car trips and tell us "Don't make me use this." And trust me, we didn't. She made apple jacks and made my childhood summers the, well she made my summers. She gifted me more than I can type on this page. I love them both dearly and I won the lottery with both of my grandmas but my Grandma Edwards was special. I got to spend the night with her and my grandeddy a lot during the summer (probably because I worried the snot out of my parents until they said yes) and I loved every minute of it.

I do not remember my grandeddy being a big talker. My perception of him changed as I got older and realized just how much he had said with his few words and how much of an influence in my life he had been. In my childhood memories I remember him being a very tall, quite man who came home everyday and ate banana sandwiches for lunch. And it has been so long, I cannot remember if they were peanut butter and banana or banana and mayonnaise. He also made a darn good steak on the grill every Friday night and mamie made homemade steak fries. I never remember seeing grandeddy mad with the exception of once. And although at the time it was not funny, it would later get a smile out of him.

Does anyone remember the life-size dolls that when their arms were raised, you could make them walk? I had one. I dressed her in some of my old dresses. She had black patent-leather, round buckle mary-janes and lacy bobbie socks. She also had the ugliest hair cut int world thanks to my self-proclaimed best hairdresser in the world title at age 6. I kept her in the closet when not playing with her and after a few "scares" grandeddy warned me that I needed to keep her where he could see her. Now maybe he should have been a little clearer in his definition of keep her where he could see her, because I thought in the outside storage closet with my mamie's freezer was perfect. Not so much and now may be the perfect time to say I never remember my grandfather cussing but one time and he was a truck driver. The one time he cussed? When he opened the pitch black storage closet to pull out the charcoal and a very human looking dolly with a bad haircut, my clothes and really creepy smile came falling out at his feet. After said cuss word and very loud "MARIE!", I watched from the window as grandeddy escorted her to dolly heaven a.k.a the trash pile. I say escort, it was more like dragged her by her foot and tossed her into the pile but potato/potahto.

More infamous than dolly's trip to the great beyond was dolly's haircut. I had an affinity for short hair was little thanks to my Dorothy Hamill bowl cut. I wanted everyone of my dolls to suffer, I mean, look just like me. So fast-forward a "few" years later to my deddy asking me to cut his hair... He now has chemo hair, it is falling out in some places, growing back-in in some and perfectly fine in others. As we are sitting there Sir-Many-Gaps looks at me and as serious as a heart attack says "Now, don't you gap up my head!" I'm sorry what you just say? Oh ok... He was a funny man and exactly where my warped sense of humor came from. Another amazing gift I glad to have.

You see these are perfect gifts in my life. I may not remember gifts wrapped in boxes with pretty bows but these bring me comfort everyday. Not to go all poetry on you but some days they are warm comfy sweater that keep me warm when everything just seems to be crappy.

I would also like to share with you the best gift I hve ever received. It was a beautiful afternoon in March 2010. I had been nervous because I was driving my Pastor from Raleigh to Rocky Mount to see my deddy. My deddy came to church one Sunday to hear me sing and liked it so much he stayed. He went every Sunday after that he felt like it. Because of that my pastor was in my car with me and I was driving him to Rocky Mount. Now, I am pretty sure causing you beloved pastor bodily harm is a sure fire way of getting excommunicated so, yes, I was nervous. But we made it and that afternoon, I was given a gift that would bring me comfort during the most difficult time in my life. I was seated at deddy's feet, leaning back against his recliner. Pastor Chuck asked him if he would like to pray the salvation prayer and he did. Out loud, in front of us. There would be no denying after that the answer that scares us when we lose a loved one. So my most precious gift is knowing that although he is gone for now, this is only temporary. And yes, I miss him so much it takes my breathe away, this is only temporary. This Father's Day, our third without him, I will miss the hug, the kiss on the cheek and spending time with him but I will find joy the fact that THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY.

So if you are out shopping today remember, it is not what you buy. It is about putting your arms around them and loving on them. Giving them the gift of memories that weave a warm comfortable sweater that comfort you both.

love- j

Ooohhhh- You in TROUBLE!

My sister is 7 years younger than me. We have an amazing relationship now but you can imagine what it was like when I was 14 and she was 7 or 17 and 10. I think the only words she knew how to say to me where "Ooohhh- You in trouble." She was always "telling" on me. "Mama- Jody did this." or "Deddy- Jody wouldn't do this." And I somehow managed to be the one to get into trouble, something I am still scratching my head on.

Now this story has nothing to with her getting me into trouble. It's just payback for all those times she did.  muahahahahahaha

She Ra Princess of Power was a pretty big cartoon when Sissy was little. So, one day she, Sissy, decided she wanted to fly just like She Ra. Oh the naivete of youth and to be quite honest the creativity. Now I want the picture of this to sink in- cute blonde girl, sheet, roller skates, mini-trampoline and a bunk bed. I probably do not have to finish this story but I am 'cause it's FUNNY!

*Disclaimer- no cute blonde girls were permanently damaged in the living of this story.

So Sissy decides she wants to fly...  She ties a sheet around her neck, puts on her roller skates and climbs to the top bunk. Anyone else impressed that she was able to climb a bunk bed ladder in her roller skates? And why the roller skates you may ask? Here was the plan and it was a pretty good one if you ask me. She had put the trampoline on the floor just below the bed. She would jump from the top bunk to the trampoline which would cause her to "fly" for less time than the original Wright Brother's flight. She had put on her roller skates so when she landed, she would just roll away and be "Princess of Power". Just for a moment, stop and think about this... She was 6 or 7 and she had put a great deal of thought and preparation into this plan. She didn't even use one of the good sheets so she wouldn't get into trouble. Ingenious I tell you! But she did not factor in one teeny tiny detail. The teeny tiny size of her bedroom. Yep- she successfully hit the trampoline and then not so successfully hit the wall. By the time we all got to the room she was in a crumpled pile on the floor shaking her head saying "I'm okay, I'm okay."

I bet she looked like those witches you see at Halloween that "flew" into the tree as she slid down the wall. I want y'all to know, she is going to KILL me so there may not be anymore posts. Just know I died laughing because that story is funny!

Anyway, I am writing to tell you, I got in trouble again. This time on Facebook and I have been grounded for 2 weeks because of it... No Candy Crush, no cute baby pictures, no funny posts about my husband singing bad 90's music at the top of his lungs. I have had to sit here an think about what I have done.

I have, what some would call, an interesting sense of humor and a filter between my brain and my mouth that is sometimes defective. If I had a dollar for every time my Mama has said "Jody Lynn, you shouldn't say that!" I would have my feet propped up watching reruns of Designing Women. And that, Ladies and Gentleman, is how I got in trouble. I posted something on Facebook on the anniversary of my Dad's death. It was meant in a joking way but a while later I received a message from a friend. In her message she called me out on how my post could appear to those who do not know me. It was loving, honest and a wake-up call. This was two weeks ago and there has not been a day go by that I have not thought about what she said.

Now, I want to stress something. This person is a true friend. She was there for me when my Deddy died and has been there everyday since. I am blessed to have her in my life. She sent that message out of love and because she felt God leading her to do it. Now when I first read it, I was devastated. I immediately felt like a bad elementary school student whose favorite teacher got on them. Had I lost her respect? Would she look at me differently? Would we still be friends? But I read it again and then third time. And I realized that she was right. I had given the appearance that on one of the most difficult days of my life, I was turning to worldly things instead of Godly things to feel better.

How many of us put on our Sunday best at church? And I am not referring to our clothes. If your church friends were to describe you, would the description be the same as you non-church friends? She used the word witness. I have never thought of myself as a witness. I do not stand on the street corner preaching, I don't stand up in front of everyone and tell my story. But in reality I do every single day... in the grocery store line, at the bank, work, singing with the praise team on Sunday, singing with the carolers at Christmas. Everyday, someone somewhere sees me, my Facebook posts or this blog and sees my witness. Am I doing my absolute best to represent him? The answer is no. I have used the excuse "well that is who I am" to keep doing some things I know He is trying to make better. You see, I am not perfect. I am so far from it. I do not like Christians who put on their Sunday best and make you think they are wonderful, never do anything wrong and never have any problems. They make you think there is something wrong with you because you do. I do not want to be that person. But, in not being that person, I cannot live in my flaws when He is trying to change me. And that is what her message drove home because the message wasn't from her.

Proverbs 14:3 says:
By the mouth of a fool comes a rod for his back but the lips of the wise will preserve them. 

Proverbs 12:26
One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

I do not want you to think I am saying we have to walk around saying thee and thou or smacking people upside the head with our Bibles. But we are Christian, we are to be Christ like in our actions, appearances and words. Let's just ask ourselves "Is that what we are doing?" And can we do it better?

This is going to sound so silly but bear with me- let's take off the Sunday best and put on Godly best.

love-j

Holy Moses!

I have heard that expression all of my life. You normally say it when you are surprised or shocked. It is like an exclamation mark. And saying Holy Moses when you were younger would only get you a stern look where other curse words could get your mouth washed out with soap. I have tasted Zest. It is not pleasant.

In this post I am going to cut right to the chase. I have tried to think of some funny story from my life to tell you before I jump right into the meat of the post but I don't have one. I guess that is what happens when you go on vacation. You shut up long enough to hear God first hand instead of Him having to waltz you around until you get it. Remember the dancing post? Dancing me can take a while.

I named this post Holy Moses because I am referring to Moses. Okay, I am about 18,000 years behind everyone else and am finally sitting down to watch the mini-series, The Bible. Viva Vacation!

But as I am a visual learner, it is helping me with my understanding of the Bible. Tell me how to do something and you sound like Charlie Brown's teacher. Bible on tape is not my best option. Show me and it is a whole 'nother ballgame. One that I am good at, well Hubby said I need to change that from ball game to shopping spree or cooking show. Hey, after 15 years, he knows me. So watching The Bible has helped me quite a bit. Some people have gone from "You know that dude" to "Oh yes, Jacob".

Thanks to Gregory Peck, I had King David down. Having a tangible picture of the story helps me remember the details. I can close my eyes, see it and the rest falls into place. And this is the picture that has struck me the most from this program... Moses standing at The Red Sea with his people beside him and the full force of the Egyptian Army behind him pursuing him like my dog after the dust mop. I am not being trite with that reference, I promise. My sweet, loving, 6 lbs Yorkshire Terrier who lets you take the food out of her mouth turns into Cujo when you whip that dust mop out. She knows where it is kept and growls when she walks past the closet door. When she gets her death grip on that thing, you can lift her off the ground she is holding on so tight. Anyway...

So there you are, you, your people, a sea in front of you and a "large" army who pretty much wants you dead or as their slaves behind you. Now, I ran screaming like a little girl once when the neighbor's dog chased me while out on a walk. I cannot imagine what my response would be looking back and seeing an entire army with my "Wanted Dead or Alive" Poster swinging from the front of their chariot. I do not think my first reaction would be remain calm.

I have heard this story hundreds of times. I remember Sunday School classes, children's Bible stories and sermons about Moses and the Red Sea but it never fully hit me until I watched The Bible. I fully understood the impact in our modern day lives of Moses and this story.

Imagine standing at the beach, your family beside you and every 80's horror movie character chasing you. And honey, children of the 80's had some good horror movie characters. What would you do? I know what my reaction would be- pray for help from God, look for a boat, prepare to fight, step in front of my family to give them a chance to get away. Now my choice sounds right. I would be praying the entire time I was looking for that boat or swinging that weapon. But it is missing the most valuable piece of information. And it took seeing it in a television show to realize it.

Moses had a sea in front of him, terrified people blaming and crying beside him and an army behind him. He stopped, he prayed and he waited. He did not swing, he did not fight, he did not give up. He waited. He waited when every part of his humanness had to be screaming "DO SOMETHING! WE ARE GOING TO DIE!!" and if his humanness wasn't his people sure were. He waited until he heard from God. "Take your staff to the water and I will part the sea." There was no way that was going to work unless it is absolutely 100% God. It was so absolutely grounded in the faith that God loves us and has us in His hand that it had to be from God. And that is what Moses did and I would say it worked out okay for him.

This is the point in my story where I think God leaned back, propped his feet on his desk, looked at an angel and said "Wait for it..." Because in that moment not only did the light bulb come on but Wrigley Field lit up and I realized how important this story was. Yes, a sea being parted is a HUGE deal. Yes, the Israelite people getting to safety was crazy important. But not as important as the simple lesson it is trying to teach us. I have never had a problem as big as the one facing Moses. I have never had an army chasing me while trying to save my people. But I have had problems in my life that seemed insurmountable. And although I am quick to pray, I am even quicker to try and fix it. Leaving out the crucial element, waiting to hear from God. So now, I have made an even bigger mess and then want to get frustrated with God because He messed it up even more when he fixed it the first time. At least that is how I try to spin it in my mind. He had nothing to do with the outcome, I never let him.

I love Psalm 46: 10-11
10. He says "Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations and I will be exalted on the earth." 11. The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

So my lesson would be regardless of the distractions of our lives, when facing the mountain, the sea or whatever problem has you scared, paralyzed, sad or beat down- stop, pray and wait. Wait for God. He will carry you through and you will be a better person for it.

love-j