Ouchie, Ouch, Ouch

I have something to tell you.

I have thought long and hard about this but I think it is time.

I think you are ready to hear the truth.

This may be the very first time you have ever heard this but the time is nigh...

Sometimes Christians get it wrong. And by wrong, I mean inaccurate, incorrect, mistaken....
W-R-O-N-G. Like me with 75 pounds of naturally curly hair deciding how cute I would be with a bob- wrong. (Umm- no, there will be no pictures posted of that catastrophe!) I will however post a well-lit, professionally done photo so you can see exactly how much hair got cut into said bob. People- I own it, I am selective with the photos. Now if my sister decides to ever start her own blog, well there may be payback for a few times when we were younger and you might get to see it. That is why I pray regularly that the Lord does not give her that calling.

Thank you to my good friend Ken Demery
@680StylePhotography

We sometimes get it wrong but with the best of intentions. Like my Mama whipping out the Bactine and telling me this is not going to sting a bit. Excuse me, Benedict Arnold, I believe you are incorrect, inaccurate, mistaken, WRONG! (Please note that I write this comfortably 50 miles away from where my Mother currently resides and with no plans to see her until I am sure I will survive putting out into the world that she was wrong.) Then there was the change to- it will only sting a little. Oh, a little huh? You mean that hair-raising, eye watering, 4739 bee stings feeling pain was just a little? I almost hyperventilate walking by it in the Tar-zhay.

Her intentions were good but the actuality of the situation was she was wrong and it hurt, a lot. To be honest, it only hurt for a few seconds but jeez louise that few seconds was something.

How do we Christians get it wrong? Oh, let me count the ways but I so have two specific examples in mind. Both, of which, I have heard and am guilty of saying:

1. When God closes a door, He opens a window.
2. God never gives us anything we cannot handle.

Here is where I am going to get myself into a little trouble. Some of you may read this and think I am being a little harsh or critical. I promise, I am in no way trying to beat up on anyone who has said any of the things I am going to discuss. I have said them myself,

The reason I am putting these two together, is because they belong together. When we see someone in a valley, we feel like we need to say something to give them hope that their suffering will be short lived. We want to try and sell the deluxe model Christian package that ties up all of our worldly problems in a neat little Jesus bow. Buy the LX Jesus model and people will adore you, problems will magically disappear. Your life will be perfect.

I have always liked the saying When God closes a door, He opens a window. I thought of it as letting someone in difficult situation know, you will get through this. But that is not what we are saying. We are saying "If your situation sucks and the door to walk away has closed, wait and God will open a window for you to escape." But that may not be God's plan. The reality is He may be closing the door and padlocking it, from the outside. And the windows?  He may be nailing those bad boys shut so you will sit there and deal with/learn from/handle the situation He wants to carry you through, teach you and help you grow, not bypass and certainly not escape.

That leads me to the next saying we are quick to offer to someone who is suffering. God will never give you anything you cannot handle. W-R-O-N-G!!! Yes, He does. Let me explain that statement a little more, it is not that he puts it on us, sometimes he just does not prevent it from happening.

It's akin to telling someone this too shall pass. Or my favorite, "Life will be ever so much better when we get to heaven". Gee, ya think? Now, I know that sounded harsh because the intention behind saying this is good but... Aren't we just blowing the person off because we do not know what to say? Or worse, because we are afraid to say that God allows us to experience valleys because he knows it is the only way to get us to lean entirely on Him? I know that simply does not fit the deluxe model now does it? Who wants to be the bad guy and say "Yep, you are where you are so you will humble yourself and allow God to be God."? And odds are pretty high that we are not supposed to be the ones to say it in that way but we certainly shouldn't be selling a false bill of goods it is always sunshine, bunnies and puppies, being a Christian.

I know what you are thinking because it crossed my mind: 1 Corinthians 10:13 says God will not give us more that we can handle. It does but it is referring to temptation. Here is the verse:

1 Corinthians 10:13
The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.

God will not allow more temptation than we can stand. He will, however, put more on you than you can handle. More than you can handle, by yourself.  He will stand back and let the world take its best shots until you finally throw up your arms and cry "Uncle". Notice I did not say He takes His best shot or He piles it on your shoulders. I said He stands back. That is the crazy thing about free will, you have the freedom to decide.

Let me go back to the Bactine for a moment, I think you need the whole story. I grew up in the country. Most of my bike riding was in fields, on grass. Not a fun place to fall but if you did, the damage was pretty nominal. I was going to stay with my grandma and we had taken my bike to her house. She did not live in the country and the place I was going to be riding was asphalt. My Mama, with her infinite wisdom, said I should wear pants until I got used to riding on the paved roads. If I fell, I would be better protected. It was hot and how different could it be? Well if was different alright and the first pothole showed me just how different. I had a scrape that started at my ankle and ended almost at my knee. I chose a different option than the one my Mama offered and I did not fare well. But she was there afterwards, picked me up dusted me off, kissed my boo boo and sprayed that sucker with Bactine that lit me on fire. I still have a small scar. Lesson learned! I was molded and shaped thanks to that tumble and learned that Cathy knew exactly what she was talking about and had my best interest at heart.

Sometimes in our lives that is what God has to do. Not because He wants to but because we have given Him no other choice. He allows us to become so broken that we know the only way to be healed is to finally turn to our Healer, the one who was waiting there for us all along.

I want to end with the words of Job. After all he went through in Job 42:1-6 he states

1Then Job replied to the lord: 2“I know that you can do anything,and no one can stop you. 3You asked, ‘Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?’ It is I—and I was talking about things I knew nothing about, things far too wonderful for me. 4You said, ‘Listen and I will speak! I have some questions for you, and you must answer them.’ 5I had only heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes. 6I take back everything I said,and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance.”

The good news is, even if we get it wrong, God can still use it to his good.

love-j