I am thirsty!

With a cup of coffee in front of me and Dt. Dr. Pepper waiting in the wings, I am thirsty.

Wait, let me back track. You can probably tell by the name of the blog that there will be a lot of posts about Christianity, well less about Christianity and more about being a Christian. I have been a Christian all of my life.

I spent my early to mid 20's lost. My faith was there but it took a back seat to pretty much everything. Now what I am getting ready to say will shock you. I made some of the absolutely best decisions of my life while I was lost. Yep- it's out there I said it. And if I were still in my 20's I would tell you "Shoo girl, I have got it going on! I know what I am doing and I have it under control." Me in my 30's is laughing my ass off at the me in my 20's.

Oh! We just got to the reason my blog is named "Confessions of a Sass Mouth Christian". I have what my very proper Southern mother calls a sass mouth. I will on occasion say what is on my mind the way I am thinking it. This blog will be that way. There will be an occasional curse word or 50. It is not meant to offend anyone, it's just me... the still imperfect, broken Christian who strives everyday to be more like Jesus and screws it up more that I ever dream of getting it right. And buddy, you better believe when I do get it right I am as shocked as you are. And I then proceed to thank Jesus because he is the only way some of my hair brained ideas have EVER worked.

Back to laughing 30's... I am now what they call more mature and wise. Bahahaha! Not really, try more humble. Maybe a little more wise but not because I was smart enough to ask God to guide me. More along the lines of jumping off the 12 foot diving board into the deep end of the pool with toddler floaties and not being able to swim. Get the picture? There I was struggling with the problems in my life, trying to stay afloat and swatting the hand of the lifeguard away. Uh, what? How crazy is that? The perfectly capable lifeguard has his hand reached out to save you and you say "Nope- I'm good." with basically your last breath. Who in there right mind would do that? Me, in my twenties, when I knew EVERYTHING and did not need help from ANYONE. By the way, the 30's me is having a hard time typing this because I am on the floor lmao. Finally God had to jump in the pool, pull me back to the surface and revive me. It was only after he intervened did the best decisions of my life happen, when once again he was in control. He had his hand on me the entire time, guiding me and taking my mistakes and turning them into his good.

I know what you are thinking, "Why did he let you jump in the first place?" I don't know the answer to that question. I do know that there have been times I have heard his voice as clearly as if he were beside me guiding me with a "Now is not the time" or "Go ahead, I have my hand on this." Other times, it is more muddled and sometimes I choose to not hear him at all. But I know this for certain, God loves and he knows me. He has to let me make the mistakes so he can teach me. And let's add humble me to that as well, because contrary to my popular belief I do not know everything. :)

Why am I thirsty after gulping my coffee and now half way through the Dr. Pepper? I am thirsty for Jesus. I want to see more of him in our Christian community. I want to see more of him- EVERYWHERE. I want people to look at me and want what I have; peace, love, joy despite what is being thrown at me. I want to meet other Christians that make me thirsty for even more than I have been blessed with and I do not mean material blessings. I feel like we have become so divided. I am so sick of hearing that I am not a Christian if I believe this or don't believe that, or I agree with this and don't agree with that. It is all a bunch of crap and judgment at it's best. We are portrayed as "Holier Than Thou", hell condemning people who hate- NONE of the things that Christians should be. We are suppose to be an example of Jesus and his love for us.

Understand, it ain't all juice boxes and candy canes, sometimes we have to stand up for our beliefs but as my grandma said "You attract more flies with honey than vinegar." I can only pray this blog will make someone thirsty as well. I understand people are not going to agree with me all the time and it's fine. My own Mama doesn't agree with me half the time and she raised me. But we always agree on what's important, trying to be like Jesus. And with that, let's agree to disagree and still be respectful.

Heavenly Father, Please guide us through this day. Let your love, grace and mercy be evident in our actions, even the ones we completely mess up. Help us to be the salt and light of the world. Amen!

love- j